The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
My review
rating: 4 of 5 stars
This book is an attempt to cope with deep, unrelenting sorrow that comes from loss of soul mates. Through no fault of her own, Joan had a very bad year there. She shares insights about grief and methods of avoiding the vortex of despair that sometimes confronts us. I hope I will not be as hard on myself if I am faced with such loss. She made me feel for all the parents who have had to bury a child. One life lesson is to do everything possible to give sick loved ones the time to recover. Don’t let impatience on anyone’s part cause you to increase their risk when a day or a month will give them the time to become stable again. If the worse comes to pass, there is no turning back the clock, and there is no controlling your emotions that replay your role in events. That replay function is a survival mechanism we inherit from our cave-dwelling and tree-clinging ancestors, but it can be as painful as hell nevertheless. You have to use every trick in this book and more to learn life’s lessons without giving in to despair. We are survivors, so most of us will find a way to carry on with the memory of all that is good about our lost loved ones in the forefront of our consciousness.
The book will dig up your own feelings of loss over a beloved pet or person. View the book as part of the hard work of growing up and learning to take the good with the bad. As Joan’s husband told their daughter, “It all evens out.”
Read this when you’re feeling strong, and then go and give all your loved ones a hug.